《拉薩情書》

第十六章、小倆口在柏克萊的新生活
01
計劃經常趕不上變化。原本計劃安妮取得博士學位後，小倆口就整裝回西藏，在拉薩文物局從事文物整理研究，但是安妮接受了李建華的建議，決定留在柏克萊大學擔任講師，主要考量卻是懷民可以就近在柏克來大學就讀美術所，雖然這和懷民的初衷：去巴黎藝術大學讀美術所有些落差，可不失為兩全其美的辦法。
「懷民，等你完成學業取得學位，我們再一起回去西藏。」
「安妮，我知道妳的苦心！我會努力上進的。」懷民提議說：「不過，假日裡我想在附近的市集和公園，擺設人像畫攤，多少賺些錢貼補生活開銷。雖然我先前的積蓄還夠我們支撐上一陣子，但總不能坐吃山空啊！」
「也好，這陣子我們的經濟狀況的確會緊縮些。」基於現實考量，安妮同意懷民的構想。
「明天，我陪你去附近市集和公園找找，我記得公園那附近有設置一處街頭藝人專區。」
懷民問：「那我需不需要去考一張街頭藝人證照呢？」
「當然需要啊！本地的街頭藝人都必須取得文化局頒發的證照。」
「那我得寫封電子信給愛玉，讓她幫我把我在台灣的街頭藝人證照和那些作品、畫具打包寄來。」
安妮提醒說：「你在台灣的街頭藝人證照，這裡的文化局恐怕不承認喔！」
懷民樂觀地說：「不要緊，我就再考張證照吧！」

02
安妮陪著懷民，去了市集和公園附近那處街頭藝人表演專區，經過評估決定選擇有警員駐點的街頭藝人表演專區。兩人接著去了當地市政府文化局，瞭解考領街頭藝人證照的資格、辦法和流程，並且買了一份簡章。
兩人離開文物局，在房車裡懷民說：「剛才文化局解說人員說，依規定考領人必須具有美國籍或長期居留權，這項資格我沒有耶！」
安妮淡定說：「那還不簡單！我們去註冊登記結婚，你就能取得長期居留權。」
「那，要不要通知妳爸和我家人？」
「一切從簡吧！用電子信通知即可。」
「可這樣對妳不公平啊！每個女孩都期待穿上美美的婚紗，走上紅地毯…」
「把錢省下來，懷民。等我取得學位和大學聘書，有一份穩定的講師薪水，經濟情況定下來，有空檔回去台灣，我們再補行婚禮。」
「好…好吧！」懷民理解安妮的顧慮。
「而且，等我取得學位後，我想儘快懷孕，所以必需節省開銷，開始準備育兒經費。」安妮盤算著。
懷民問：「生養兒女，不用那麼急吧？」
安妮臨時路邊停車，懇切地望著副駕駛座上的懷民說：「養兒育女，一直是女人的天職啊！何況我長你兩歲，再拖延下去，只會加重我的身心壓力。」
「好吧！」懷民被安妮說服了：「繼續開車吧！安妮。」

03
庭院角落向陽面的農田裡，小米和青稞發育得很不錯。安妮提著灑水器，細心地給種苗澆水。快遞車送來兩只一大一小木箱，安妮走向門口，在簽收單上簽名，兩名快遞員把木箱扛進屋裡角落。
安妮打開小木箱，翻出擺放在木盒裡彩筆、炭筆和水彩、油畫顏料。接著開起大木箱，上層疊著表框的幾幅彩色人像漫畫和素描。安妮一一取出，擺在地板上欣賞；底層是兩張佛像畫，安妮拿起松贊干布畫像，仔細端詳著畫像裡的人物五官。
「神韻真的很像格桑，嗯！應該說是懷民…」安妮自言自語，接著取出文成公主畫像，來到梳妝鏡前，比對著畫像和鏡子裡的自己喃喃說著：「這就是輪迴轉世吧？除此之外，沒有更合理的解釋了…。」
安妮站著端詳了好一會兒，靈機一動想到這兩幅畫像，正好可以代替婚紗照，只是「該掛在客廳還是臥房呢？」安妮顯得有些猶豫不決：「等懷民回來，跟他討論一下吧？」
這時，懷民騎著自行車剛回到家門口，車把手上掛著一個小公事包。透過大窗戶，安妮看著懷民把自行車牽上幾級石階，停在騎樓下。懷民提著公事包走進屋裡，看見擺放一地的畫具和漫畫。
「你的家當剛寄來喔！」安妮從臥房裡走出來，手上端著那幅文成公主的畫像。
「這麼快啊！我剛去大學索取招生簡章，遇到李教授，跟他聊了一會兒。」懷民把公事包擱在客廳長桌上。
「你們都聊了些什麼？」
懷民開心說：「教授很高興妳接受他的建議，他聽我說要報考大學美術所，很熱心說要幫我引見兩位美術界名師。」
「叔叔還有說什麼嗎？」
「有啊！他說很喜歡我們煮的菜餚。」
安妮微笑說：「Uncle都給你暗示了，你就看著辦囉！畢竟我們有求於他。」
「我當然懂得他的暗示啊！他就像洪七公那樣…」
安妮問：「誰是洪七公？我怎麼不認得？」
懷民微笑說：「洪七公啊！就是武俠大師金庸筆下的丐幫幫主啊！」
「丐幫幫主？我聽過金庸，可沒讀過他的武俠小說。」安妮接著說：「言歸正傳，你幫我看看，你的這幅文成公主和那幅松贊干布畫像，該掛在客廳還是寢室牆面上？」
懷民不假思索說：「當然掛在客廳啊！那兩幅是佛像畫呀！」
「可我覺得掛在寢室，當成我們的結婚照OK啊！」
懷民聽了，噗哧一聲笑出來說：「佛像畫怎能掛在寢室？那對神明不敬喔！妳要掛寢室，那我們就去租套禮服，拍一組美美的沙龍照，挑幾張滿意的放大裱框起來。佛像畫就該掛在客廳，正對門口的這片牆面上。」
「真的不行嗎？反正外人也搞不清楚這兩幅畫像是不是結婚照。」
懷民感到有些啼笑皆非說：「我說娘子，租禮服和拍沙龍照這筆開銷，依我看該花就花吧！」
安妮想了一下說：「好吧！等完成註冊登記手續，我們就去租禮服拍一組沙龍照。」
「一起動手把地板收拾一下吧？」懷民說：「接著我得研究一下這份研究所招生簡章。」

04
湯懷民和安妮完成結婚註冊登記，攜手走出法院登記處。
安妮叮嚀說：「從今晚起，你就來跟我一起睡喔！」
懷民淘氣說：「可我有打鼾的毛病，妳得忍受囉！」
安妮輕描淡寫說：「我知道啊！往後要跟著你生活一輩子，總得相互容忍。」
兩人來到停車場，進入房車。房車離開法院，駛回往大學城的方向。
安妮的房車停在街道旁的停車格，小倆口下車，攜手往最近的一家婚紗禮服店。
安妮微笑說：「一年前，我還沒想過今年會結婚呢！」
懷民說：「我是遇到一個去日月潭旅遊的老喇嘛，經由他的開示，才會千里迢迢去西藏，在拉薩等妳出現。果然，老喇嘛的預言成真，妳出現在我眼前，不由得我不相信啊！」
安妮說：「我也是啊！先是見到你手繪的那兩尊畫像，隨後有小昭寺老喇嘛的預言，再有你叔公多仁‧丹增的明告，我才逐漸相信這些神蹟，不是來自一連串的巧合。」
兩人走進婚紗店，各自試穿後，挑了兩件禮服和西裝。店裡隨即安排攝影師和化妝師，為小倆口拍攝沙龍照。
小倆口牽手離開婚紗店，走往停車格。
懷民微笑說：「這樣才有結婚的感覺嘛！」
安妮提議說。「今晚洞房花燭夜，我想有個浪漫的燭光晚餐。」
「應該的，我們去採買紅酒、香檳，豬肉羊排，動手做幾道佳餚。」

05
客廳餐桌上，兩根紅蠟燭、兩瓶紅酒、兩瓶香檳，一道馬告醃鹹豬肉、一道孜然粉燒烤羊排，一大碗檸檬愛玉。小倆口圍著小方桌，舉杯對飲。
安妮含情脈脈說：「從今天起，我們就是夫妻，相互扶持共伴此生，我敬夫君！」
安妮和懷民，喝了交杯酒。
懷民有感而發說：「安妮，其實我沒什麼企圖心，一點兒都沒有松贊干布的影子！」
安妮微笑說：「我沒要你有雄才偉略啊！如果你真像松贊干布那樣，可能我不會讓你接近呢！」
懷民欣慰地說：「遇見妳，我總算弄清楚，將來想要的是怎樣的生活。」
「說說看，我究竟是什麼地方吸引你？」
懷民想了一下說：「妳的氣質吧！出塵脫俗，像一朵青蓮。」
「你只說對一半」安妮幽幽說：「在我才剛懂事的年紀，父親就離家出走，我是在單親家庭裡成長，每天陪伴我的除了祖母、母親，就是一屋子的書籍和一架鋼琴。不像別的孩子快樂且多采多姿，我的童年非常地寧靜，或者說乏善可陳，祖母、母親都是溫柔的淑女，她們用同樣的方式教養我。讀書、彈琴、上教堂等於我生活的全部。」
懷民微笑說：「我可以想像。我的成長過程跟妳相反，我做許多家事，參加學校社團活動，田徑、露營許多動態活動，但繪畫一直是我的興趣和心靈寄託。」
安妮自問：「兩個氣質相反的人，怎麼會湊在一起呢？」
「妳聽過道家的太極：正反合嗎？」
「知道啊！你想跟我說，我們在一起是彼此互補？」
懷民鼓起勇氣說：「安妮，其實我必須跟你坦誠，在遇到妳之前，我有個青梅竹馬的女朋友，她一直對我很好…。」
「然後呢？」安妮很平靜地問。
「但我覺得自己不適合她，她是個事業心很強的女人，將來要接手她父親的飯店事業，我不想成為她的影子，對此，我心理上一直有著抗拒。」
「所以，你就隻身跑去西藏？」
「嗯！當時我對那喇嘛的預言半信半疑，遇見妳以後，我逐漸弄清楚，妳才是能夠和我相伴一生的女人，我想要的是一份簡單、平靜的婚姻生活。」
安妮冷靜地問：「為什麼你一直到今天，才讓我知道這件事？」
「我不想妳認為我騎驢找馬，是個花心的男人。」
「可是，對那女孩來說，你的移情別戀，傷害了她。」
懷民一臉誠懇說：「我跟她之間一直是很清白的，安妮。」
「好吧！我相信你不是個到處留情的男人，但你打算如何面對她？」
「她目前在法國巴黎學美術，如果有機會見面，我會當面跟她說清楚，取得她的諒解。」
安妮立馬追問：「如果她不能接受呢？」
「我…」懷民一時語塞，過了一會兒才低頭說：「能做的只有道歉。」
「懷民，我心疼你呀！」安妮伸出雙手，握住懷民的雙手說：「讓我們一起共同來面對吧！」
Chapter 16: The Couple’s New Life in Berkeley
01
Plans often can’t keep up with changes. Originally, after Annie obtained her Ph.D., the couple planned to return to Tibet to work at the Lhasa Cultural Relics Bureau. However, following Li Jianhua’s advice, Annie decided to stay at UC Berkeley as a lecturer. The main consideration was that Huai-min could study at Berkeley’s art department nearby. Although it differed from Huai-min’s original plan to study in Paris, it was still a practical compromise.
“Huai-min, after you finish your studies, we’ll return to Tibet together.”
“Annie, I understand your concern! I’ll work hard. But on weekends, I’d like to set up a portrait painting stall at the nearby market or park, to earn a little extra money. Although our savings can support us for a while, we can’t just sit and spend!”
“That’s reasonable. Our finances will indeed be tight for a while,” Annie agreed, considering reality.
“Tomorrow I’ll go with you to the market and park. I remember there’s a designated street performer area nearby.”
Huai-min asked: “Do I need a license to perform there?”
“Of course! Local street performers must have a certificate from the cultural bureau.”
“I’ll email Aiyu and ask her to send my Taiwanese street performer license and all my works and supplies here.”
Annie reminded him: “Your Taiwan license may not be recognized here.”
Huai-min optimistically said: “No problem, I’ll just get a new one!”
________________________________________
02
Annie accompanied Huai-min to the street performer area, choosing a location with police presence for safety. They then went to the local cultural bureau to learn about the qualifications, procedures, and regulations for obtaining a street performer license, purchasing a brochure.
After leaving, Huai-min said in the car: “The cultural bureau staff said that applicants must have US citizenship or permanent residency… which I don’t have.”
Annie calmly said: “That’s easy. Let’s register our marriage, then you’ll get permanent residency.”
“Should we inform your dad and my family?”
“Keep it simple. Just email them.”
“But that’s unfair to you! Every girl dreams of wearing a beautiful wedding dress and walking down the red carpet…”
“Save the money, Huai-min. After I get my degree and university appointment, we’ll have a stable income. Then we can go back to Taiwan later and have a proper wedding.”
“All right… fine,” Huai-min agreed.
“Also, after I get my degree, I want to start a family, so we need to save for childcare.”
Huai-min asked: “No need to rush with kids, right?”
Annie stopped the car, looked earnestly at him: “Raising children is always a woman’s duty. Besides, I’m two years older than you; delaying will only add pressure on me.”
“Okay!” Huai-min conceded: “Keep driving, Annie.”
________________________________________
03
In the sunny corner of the yard, millet and barley grew well. Annie carefully watered the seedlings.
A delivery truck arrived with two wooden boxes, one large and one small. Annie signed the delivery note as the couriers carried the boxes inside. She opened the small box first, revealing colored pencils, charcoal, watercolors, and oil paints. The large box contained framed colorful portraits and sketches on the top layer. She arranged them on the floor to admire. The bottom layer held two Buddhist paintings. Annie carefully examined the portrait of Songtsen Gampo.
“The spirit really resembles Gesang… or rather, Huai-min…” she murmured. Then, holding the portrait of Princess Wencheng, she compared it with her reflection: “This must be reincarnation. There’s no other reasonable explanation.”
After a while, Annie thought these two portraits could serve as wedding photos—but should they hang in the living room or bedroom? She hesitated: “I’ll discuss it with Huai-min when he gets back.”
At that moment, Huai-min arrived home on his bicycle, carrying a small briefcase. Through the large window, Annie watched him park the bike. He entered the house and noticed the art supplies spread on the floor.
“Your shipment arrived!” Annie said, holding Princess Wencheng’s portrait.
“So fast! I just got the grad school brochure and chatted with Professor Li,” Huai-min said, placing the briefcase on the table.
“What did you talk about?”
“He was glad you accepted his advice. He also offered to introduce me to two art masters.”
“Did he say anything else?”
“Yes! He liked our dishes.”
Annie smiled: “He was giving you hints. Just follow them—we need his help.”
“I know! He’s like Hong Qigong from Jin Yong’s novels,” Huai-min said.
“Who’s that? I don’t recognize him,” Annie asked.
“Hong Qigong is the Beggar Clan master from Jin Yong’s martial arts novels.”
“I’ve heard of Jin Yong but haven’t read his novels,” Annie replied.
Returning to the portraits, Annie asked, “Where should we hang the Princess Wencheng and Songtsen Gampo paintings—in the living room or bedroom?”
“Living room, of course! They’re Buddhist paintings,” Huai-min replied without hesitation.
“But I think they can serve as our wedding photos in the bedroom.”
Huai-min laughed: “Buddhist paintings in the bedroom? That’s disrespectful! Let’s rent wedding outfits and take salon photos instead. The Buddhist paintings belong in the living room, opposite the main door.”
“Really? No one else will know these are our wedding photos anyway.”
Huai-min chuckled: “If we rent outfits and take photos, we might as well spend the money!”
Annie thought and said: “Fine. After registration, we’ll rent outfits and take a photo set.”
“Let’s tidy up the floor first. Then I need to study this grad school brochure,” Huai-min suggested.
04
Tang Huai-min and Annie completed their marriage registration and walked out of the courthouse hand in hand.
Annie reminded him, “From tonight on, you’ll be sleeping with me!”
Huai-min teased, “But I snore—you’ll have to tolerate that!”
Annie replied lightly, “I know! If I’m going to live with you for the rest of my life, we have to be tolerant of each other.”
They reached the parking lot and got into their RV. The RV left the courthouse and headed back toward the university town.
Annie parked in a street-side spot, and the couple walked hand in hand to the nearest bridal shop.
Smiling, Annie said, “A year ago, I never imagined I’d be getting married this year!”
Huai-min replied, “I met an old lama during a trip to Sun Moon Lake. Through his guidance, I traveled all the way to Tibet and waited for you in Lhasa. Sure enough, the lama’s prediction came true—you appeared before me, and I couldn’t help but believe it!”
Annie said, “I felt the same. First, I saw the two portraits you drew. Then came the prophecy from the old lama at Xiao Zhao Temple, and finally your grand-uncle Duoren Danzeng’s clear indication. Only then did I gradually believe these miracles weren’t just coincidences.”
They entered the bridal shop, tried on outfits, and chose a dress and suit. The shop arranged a photographer and a makeup artist to take their salon photos.
Hand in hand, they left the bridal shop and walked back to the parked RV.
Huai-min smiled: “Now it really feels like we’re married!”
Annie suggested, “On our wedding night, I want a romantic candlelight dinner.”
“Of course! Let’s buy red wine, champagne, pork and lamb chops, and cook some special dishes ourselves.”
________________________________________
05
On the living room table were two red candles, two bottles of red wine, two bottles of champagne, a dish of Magao-marinated salted pork, cumin-grilled lamb chops, and a large bowl of lemon aiyu jelly. The couple sat around a small square table, raising their glasses to toast.
Annie said with affection, “From today on, we are husband and wife, supporting each other for life. I toast to my husband!”
They drank their ceremonial cross-cup wine.
Huai-min spoke sincerely: “Annie, I actually have no ambition—none at all. I’m nothing like Songtsen Gampo.”
Annie smiled: “I’m not asking you to have grand ambitions! If you were really like Songtsen Gampo, I might not even have let you near me.”
Huai-min said with relief: “Meeting you finally helped me understand the life I truly want.”
“Tell me, what is it about me that attracted you?”
Huai-min thought for a moment: “Your temperament… ethereal and otherworldly, like a blue lotus.”
“You only got half right,” Annie said softly. “When I was just coming of age, my father left home. I grew up in a single-parent household, accompanied daily by my grandmother, my mother, a house full of books, and a piano. Unlike other children with lively, colorful childhoods, mine was very quiet, perhaps uneventful. My grandmother and mother were both gentle ladies, raising me the same way. Studying, playing piano, attending church—that was my entire life.”
Huai-min smiled: “I can imagine. My upbringing was the opposite—I did chores, participated in school clubs, athletics, camping, and many dynamic activities. But painting was always my passion and spiritual refuge.”
Annie wondered aloud: “How did two people with such opposite temperaments end up together?”
“Have you heard of the Daoist concept of Taiji: yin, yang, and harmony?”
“Yes! Are you saying we complement each other?”
Huai-min mustered courage: “Annie, I must be honest. Before I met you, I had a childhood sweetheart. She was very kind to me…”
“And then?” Annie asked calmly.
“But I felt I wasn’t suited for her. She was very career-driven, destined to inherit her father’s hotel business. I didn’t want to become a shadow in her life, and I resisted it mentally.”
“So, you went to Tibet alone?”
“Yes! I was half-believing the lama’s prophecy. After meeting you, I realized you’re the woman I want to spend my life with. I want a simple, peaceful marriage.”
Annie asked calmly: “Why didn’t you tell me this until today?”
“I didn’t want you to think I’m a fickle man, jumping from one to another.”
“But your shifting affections must have hurt that girl.”
Huai-min said sincerely: “It was always innocent between us, Annie.”
“Fine. I believe you’re not a man who flirts around. But how do you plan to face her?”
“She’s studying art in Paris now. If we meet, I’ll explain everything and seek her understanding.”
Annie immediately asked: “What if she can’t accept it?”
Huai-min hesitated. After a moment, he lowered his head: “All I can do is apologize.”
“Huai-min, I feel for you,” Annie said, taking his hands. “Let’s face this together.”